today is my birthday many more years before I lay and rest mist blows across the pond sprays my face reminds me of sea sounds I play to soothe my insomnia sleeping habits passed down from my father he told me his childhood dreams were scored by Dark Side of the Moon how different I must have been a toddler curled napping to hard rock or Moody Blues singing something about satin in college I chased the red eye nights with a voicemail HEY ITS YOUR DAD I JUST WANTED TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY voice trails downward at the end reminds me that I rarely called back I can’t think this without salty ocean tears welling surging from within me heaving chest rocking a quietly aching lullaby today is my day and no songs will help me rest my eyes I used to fall asleep to a lonely message frightened of forgetting the melody of his voice cooling October breeze fans pond water along the grassy bank THE MESSY HAIR OF GRAVES bedhead of those finally sleeping